Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
