what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
