Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize