Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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