my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
