You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize