scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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