Sry I called you an 8
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's blow job season.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
