so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
