Midget sex pt 2 tonight
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize