I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
