if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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