Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
