sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize