Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I will pee on everything he values.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
