I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I wear drunk well.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
