This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
