Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Rumble strips road head = magical
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
