At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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