you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
