He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
