i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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