I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
