I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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