Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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