There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
