Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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