Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
