Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
