Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
