u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
