Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
