Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
