I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just google imaged poop.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
