u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
