This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
