I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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