YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
