So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
