Do you still have your period?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
