Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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