let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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