those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
