I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Fuck appropriateness.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
