tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i think my cat just said my name.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
