margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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