people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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