I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize