After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
