yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
