We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
