im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
