I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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