I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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