we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
