Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
