Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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