im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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