I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
