So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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