i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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