I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So much rum. So many feels.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
