Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
