i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I smell like Dick and happiness
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