Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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