Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize