they need to just BURY HIM!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize