i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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